Finding My Words

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When I started this blog, it was therapeutic. Words are my love language. Words act as my fuel and something I have also given freely to others to show them love and support. As I started my doctorate degree, the words from my blog were replaced by endless pages of graduate level writing. It was fine because I was writing about my passions to impact the world of education through scholarly texts, but then the worst happened.

In January 2020, shortly after turning 50, I got sick, really sick. I was hospitalized 3 times between January and March and six times by September. There was a point where I was so sick, I couldn’t climb a flight of stairs in my house or walk down the hall in my school. My husband would find me sitting up at night struggling to breathe. While I believe I had COVID (but this was prior to widespread testing) I was also diagnosed with hypercalcemia, A-FIB, diabetes, and a parathyroid tumor the size of walnut.

Being this sick made every day functioning difficult, not to mention graduate work and leading a school during a pandemic. On top of this, my nearly fifty-year-old school undergoing a massive renovation that included teams of construction workers and classrooms in temporary locations. I won’t lie that when the world shut down due to the pandemic, it was a relief for me. I could disappear and not feel the burden of taking care of others because I could barely take care of me.

I began treating my health and showed some improvement, but later that year, I experienced a personal trauma as well as watching family endure an unimaginable tragedy. Few people knew the depth of my despair. I was exhausted physically and emotionally. While my body slowly healed, I continued to feel dead inside. Finding anything left to give to others (which is key in leadership) was just impossible.

I had lost my love of words and was happy to sit in silence wasting away inside my own head.

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Somehow I had managed to pass my qualifying exams to enter doctoral candidacy during the height of my illness, but I lost my will to write. Even thinking about my dissertation caused extreme anxiety. I didn’t want to become an ABD (all but dissertation) statistic, but as I met with with my dissertation chairman in tears on multiple occasions, I was worried this was becoming a reality. I had lost my love of words and was often happy to sit silent wasting away inside my own head.

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This past June, I did the most difficult thing I have ever done. I changed my environment to find myself again. I left behind a school, people, and a community that I loved with all my soul. While I was proud of the work we had done together, respected the educators and would have done anything for them, and adored the children with all my heart, I had to change.

This past June, I did the most difficult thing I have ever done. I changed my environment to find myself again.

Two years of construction and district changes drained my passion. I had even considered retirement (which I became eligible for in January 2021). Luckily, with the coaching of three amazing professional mentors who were looking out for me and the undying love and support of my husband, I applied for a new job. Of course it wasn’t the job I originally thought I was applying for, but it was the job I needed. It was a school that needed me and the skills I possessed. I needed their love and appreciation along with the thrill of engaging work. It was a challenge that reignited my passion for being an educational leader. My change of setting even helped me get my dissertation back on track.

While I still have a ways to go in my recovery, I can finally say that after 18 months and the grace of God, I am on my way. The grief of leaving behind my first school as a principal is lessening. I love my new school and all the people in it. I am excited about the opportunity to learn even though the work is hard.

As for words, my heart is full from a letter written by a parent who wrote my superintendent to tell her how grateful she is to have me as the principal of her child’s school. This was followed by a letter from the superintendent telling me how grateful she was to have me as a leader in her district. My soul has been replenished and given my what I needed to pay this forward by sharing with others the words they may need to hear.

I needed their love and appreciation along with the thrill of engaging work.

For me, words matter. I don’t know if I will ever blog as much as I once did. However, the current state of our world has left many recovering from their own trauma and I hope that sharing my experiences inspires others to keep going. When you are lost it is important to do whatever it takes to find yourself and your passion. Change is hard, but wasting away is worse. Sometimes you have to let go of something you love to take care of yourself. You are worth it and eventually, with grit and the grace of God, you can find your words and a new love.

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Get on the Elevator

Cultural Proficiency

            

I have a very dear friend that was in a situation where the mother of a young man on trial had entered an elevator. Apparently, everyone around knew the identity of the woman and stood there, rather than getting on. Finally, my friend stepped on. It got me thinking about how often, we face a situation that we may be afraid of or be afraid to be seen as a part of so we stay where we are rather than embracing the opportunity to show grace and compassion.


We live in a world where we are faced with situations like this every day. We have a choice to show compassion or a chance to look the other way. I think sometimes people step up and show kindness if it is a public event that will gain publicity for a cause. However, I think it is much more likely that we face the opportunity, and no one will ever know. I believe in these situations, especially if it involves someone much different than ourselves, where we have to take a risk, put effort, or even face judgment from others, we are more likely to turn away in ambivalence or even disdain.


We live in a world where it is much easier to sit behind a screen and cast stones at those who may be different. We judge those for their humanity by calling names and calling for their downfall believing that we are safe united in a mob of anonymity and that no one will know about our name-calling and criticisms about situations we may not know anything about. I think we forget that this is the exact behavior that may incite others to violence. So often it is the one misguided soul that sees the “majority” expressing their unbridled anger online toward an individual or situation that inspires the one to seek justice on their own terms because they tie this what they see on social media to what they have faced in their own past and act against a perceived threat in unthinkable ways.


This world could be such a better place if people got out from behind the protections of social media and sought to learn about those who are entirely different than themselves. Attempt to learn about one another and the motivations behind their actions. If nothing else, wouldn’t the world be a better place if we saw someone in facing tribulation and just showed compassion for their struggle and stood beside them, even if nothing about their situation could be changed. We never completely know the journey someone else has traveled, but we can step up and walk beside them without criticism. Maybe the small gesture would change someone’s life for the better. Do like my friend. Take a risk rather than standing in fear. Show compassion rather than sitting in judgment. Get on the elevator.

Put On Your Red Vest

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I’m not sure I could ever truly find the words to express my gratitude to Learning Forward. Over the past eight years, I have been fortunate to learn amazing strategies to create focused yearlong professional learning plans for a campus based on data-driven need as a part of the Learning School Alliance Cohort, create a professional learning plan with a LF Foundation Campus Team Grant that helped forge a relationship that continues to this day with Norma Jackson, and with the help of the LF Foundation Principal as Leader of Professional Learning grant, become a Ruby Payne Certified Trainer and engage in deep study learning about grit and growth mindset that have helped my staff bridge a gap for students who don’t always believe in themselves in the school setting. I have met the amazing Shirley Hord, Marcia Tate, Jim Knight, and Michael Fullan, not to mention hearing countless other incredible forces in education.
There is no way I could ever repay the blessing this organization has been to me, so for the second time, I have given a week of service as a National Convention Host committee member. It is two weeks away from home (for the convention prior and the one in Dallas, which anyone who knows me, knows is beyond my comfort zone). It is long days on your feet and doing the legwork so that the thousands of attendees get to engage in amazing learning.
 
Despite this effort of trying to give back, I still manage to leave feeling I have received way more than I gave. I have served on two amazing host committees that have resulted in lifelong friendships with such talented educators. Service in 2013 not only resulted in new friendships that continue today, but it also helped me to find my way to Lewisville ISD. In 2018, I met I got to spend time with colleagues from my past and formed even more new friendships.
 
I was in awe my first Learning Forward Conference in 2010. I couldn’t believe how big, how structured, and how smoothly everything ran. I hope that we were able to do that for the people that attended this past week and that they will be inspired as I was at my first conference. Students deserve educators committed to learning and growing to be better every day and I believe that it is through not only learning but networking that this happens. Tonight, I hang up my host committee red vest, I can’t help but think that most of us have organizations that have transformed us as educators.  Who is that for you?  Have you put on a red vest to give back what you have been given?  Don’t just be a consumer.  Give back for all the great things you have been given. Don’t forget to put on the vest help serve those that have made you who you are today.
Thank you, Learning Forward! Thank you to Beth Brockman, our Red Vest Chair, and thank you to all the amazing red vests I was blessed to serve beside!  I look forward to continuing red vest adventures that may or may not include clumping!

Who Is Telling Your Story?

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Everyone has an opinion on everything.  This seems to be especially true when it comes to schools.  Unfortunately, so often, the people with opinions also have an agenda, and it’s not always positive.  Whether it’s an angry parent venting on social media, TEA labeling schools without telling the whole story, or school rating websites making judgments based on what they can glean from paper, everyone has something to say with a purpose to serve.  However, educators remain silent.

Maybe this is because as educators we know we have a noble job. We know we make a difference in the lives of children.  We most likely were compliant, rule-followers in school, which is often why we became a teacher, and therefore we believe that everyone will play nicely in the sandbox.  It would make sense that when it comes to teaching children, this role would be respected, honored, and of course, no one would seek to harm.

Unfortunately, this is not the case.  In so many instances, our world has become about the survival of the fittest and finding ways to make money.  Schools now compete for students which means competing for the dollars needed to educate them.  I will be honest, not one of my principal education classes covered marketing and advertising, but sometimes, it feels like this is a required skill in campus leadership.

Regardless of all of this and people’s opinions, whether or not you are a master of social media or advertising, someone is telling your story.  If there is silence, someone will fill in the emptiness with their opinions, good or bad.  Unfortunately, human nature leans towards negative.  According to Psychology Today(2003), Hara Marano states our brains are negatively biased, which is why smear campaigns tend to outdo positive ones. Our brain will react more strongly to negative stimuli than positive. The research shows that our brains need at least five positive interactions to counteract just one negative stimulus.  I think this is why we as campus leaders must be prepared to create the narrative for ourselves.  Not only must we share our journey, but we must also recognize that to achieve the positive ratio, we must enlist the help of others and prepare our teachers to do the same.

Our brains need at least 5 +s  to counteract just 1 -, therefore we must tell our positive campus story.
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It’s no longer enough to say, “that’s just not my thing.” We have to find ways to share the greatness of our schools.  Using a Twitter hashtag can be powerful.  Twitter allows quick, powerful posts in 280 characters to share a snippet of something great going on at a school.  Additionally, if a campus uses the hashtag, anyone on the campus can share and then everyone’s posts can be seen by anyone who searches that hashtag without having to follow every person in the school. I will be honest; Twitter wasn’t my thing when I became a principal. It is now.  Think about how many positives can be sent out in a matter of minutes, much less a school day.  At my campus, not only do we use our #WeAreDegan every year to tell our story, we often use supplemental hashtags that tell the story of our annual focus theme.  Last year, we also included #gameon #levelup to show how we were improving.  This year is all about #makingmagichappen for our students.

Is there any better school accountability than ongoing, real-time, evidence of student learning in pictures?
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Pictures are powerful in helping to reach the brain’s reactors.  Whether Twitter, Dojo, Facebook, or Instagram, a picture really does say a thousand words.  For parents or your community, there is no better way to give them a glimpse of what is going on inside your school.  You can share in an instant the joy on a child’s face when they overcome a challenge or the rituals and routines that make your school special.  On my campus, we celebrate every Friday as a campus. We celebrate our students as they demonstrate grit, growth mindset and a “college-ready attitude.”  But who would know this if they weren’t there?  For Degan elementary, we tweet about it.  Videos on social media and Youtube can help your stakeholders feel first hand what students experience.  It really isn’t as daunting as it seems and when parents and community feel a part of what you are doing, they tend to speak up for you!

When you blog, you give people insight into your values and beliefs and this can create trust. 
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Another powerful way to communicate is blogging.  I think this is the one that many find intimidating, I know I did when I first began.  I worried about people judging me or not reading at all. I had to reach the place where I just let my words be my purpose and not let it be about how many “likes” I could get.  When you blog, you give people insight into your values and beliefs and this can create trust.  For many, insight into who you are as a leader helps them to buy into what you are “selling” about your school.  If they feel connected to you, they are less likely to be distracted by negativity.  If nothing else, if constituents feel like they know you or that you are open, they are more likely to contact you to discuss issues rather than assume and fill that space of the unknown with negative assumptions. It doesn’t have to be long, it just has to speak from your leadership heart.

As leaders, we have to step up.  We have to tell our story.  Not only that, we have to help others understand a new vision of public education that prepares students for the 21st Century and a world that is very different than the education most Americans have had that has been deeply entrenched in regurgitation of information, strategies, and high-stakes testing.  We have to begin a new narrative of student engagement, problem-solving, and higher level thinking that prepares students for jobs that may not even exist as well as conquering issues that we couldn’t even imagine.  After all, if you don’t tell this story, who will?

If you don’t tell the story of what education can be without simply relying on test scores, who will?
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References

Marano, H. E. (2016, June 9). Our Brain’s Negative Bias. Retrieved October 18, 2018, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200306/our-brains-negative-bias

Thinking About Thinking

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I know that it has been awhile since I’ve posted here. It’s not that I haven’t been blogging.  I am deep in the middle of graduate coursework, attending full-time while I continue to lead the most amazing campus.  I still write and blog, it has just been more in the realm of my doctoral program.  However, I miss this outlet for sharing my thoughts on public education, best practices for schools, and leading with grit, grace, and growth mindset.

One of the things that I have pondered on teaching thinking is the triangle of instruction, curriculum, and assessment.  After all, “thinking” is the twelfth most used in the English language. I know that when I arrived at my campus six years ago, it was clear that our students could follow simple steps for finding answers, but higher-level thinking, flexibility in problem-solving, and explaining and justifying their thought processes was extremely difficult. Additionally, teachers aren’t really prepared in school for teaching thinking. Teacher preparation programs typical prepare future teachers in teaching  content.

I think about the ambiguity of defining thinking and how that complicates teaching our students how to think Beyer, 1984).  If we struggle to define what it means to teach thinking, then it certainly complicates creating a curriculum around teaching thinking.  If we cannot create a curriculum that defines thinking, then we will also struggle to adequately use the best instructional methods.  Furthermore, Beyer outlines the difficulty in assessing thinking (1984).

If for the 21st Century, our students face demands that require thinking even more than ever, it seems the curriculum triangle around thinking would also be more important than ever.  I know that in Texas when we switched from TAKS to STAAR, it was because decision makers felt we needed a test more geared toward thinking and problem-solving rather than regurgitation of steps, strategies, and facts. However, we did not prepare teachers with curriculum or instructional strategies geared toward thinking. Additionally, we have already discovered how difficult it is to measure thinking on a standardized test.

Why then do we continue to put money and efforts into a flawed test and accountability system that cannot measure that which we purport to be important? Even if we put our energy into designing curriculum and instruction geared toward teaching students high levels of thinking, how do we assess whether this is happening in a way that these results can be shared with our communities who demand accountability from our schools? I certainly believe that doing what is right by students is the biggest priority, but as a campus principal, I also understand the pressure put on schools and the ties to funding to achieve at certain levels.  To be successful in an endeavor to improve thinking in teaching, we also have to find a way to document achievement as a result of our efforts.

References

Beyer, B. K. (1984). Improving thinking skills: Defining the problem. The Phi Delta Kappan, 65(7), 486-490.

Measuring What Matters Most

Education

I have to start by apologizing for my absence.  I started my Ph. D. program a year ago and it keeps me quite busy writing.

Yesterday was our first day of school.  There is a kindergartener this year that was born my first year as principal at Degan. He has three wonderful older brothers who are now in middle school, but I would say he has come to my school almost every day of his life that school was open. A couple of weeks ago, he came to meet with me pretty uptight because he wanted to know why school hadn’t started yet. We talked and then we counted how many days were left. The night of “meet the teacher”, he was starting to look pretty nervous, so I promised him I would be there for him when he walked through the door. On the first day, he was on cloud nine. He was the model student showing the other kindergarteners how to “ give me five” and had an amazing eagle tail and bubble. I am so grateful to be a part of his life and so grateful his mom shares her boys with me.

The state’s crazy accountability system that grades schools on tests came out today. According to that, we’re “okay” but that system is only about STAAR. Don’t get me wrong, my school grows every year on STAAR and that is without test prep. I could name distinctions and areas where our scores are in the top quartile, but I won’t. (I refuse to play that game). This new accountability system will never tell the stories of the powerful partnerships Degan has with their families. They won’t tell you how my teachers accomplish life-changing gains with our students. And they will never tell you how we focus on caring about the whole child. That’s okay. I will never go back to a district that is driven by a test. My non-economically disadvantaged kids perform as well as any non-Title school. My economically disadvantaged kids outperform their counterparts in non-Title I Schools. They simplified accountability but they left out all the stuff that really matters. Friends, look deeper before you judge. Is the letter grade about what matters? I believe in creating great thinkers, collaborator, and citizens-not test takers. And according to a survey done by TEA, that’s what most parents say matters, too. #morethanatestscore #exemplaryinwhatmatters

The Truth About Tomorrow’s Test

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So today I visited all my fourth and fifth-grade classes at the end of the day. I wanted to take a moment just to remind them that tomorrow is NOT the most important day of the year. I wanted them to know that a test will never have the ability to show me what I already know, which is how much each and every one of them has grown not only since August but since they began at Degan. Tomorrow’s test will never be able to show all of their hard work. It won’t show how some of my students have overcome tremendous adversity: parents with illness or having parents that just cannot be a part of their lives right now, food insecurity, not always knowing whether the electricity bill can be paid, fighting against disabilities, and many more challenges too numerous to name.

Tomorrow’s test won’t measure the fact that my teachers have held children while they cried, provided them with food and clothes, found resources for a family in need, or balanced the push of “you can do better” with the support of “I will always be here to catch you.” Tomorrow’s test won’t measure the hours they spend finding solutions to the struggles my student’s face. It won’t show the tears they have cried for these students or the times they have celebrated each small success.

The legislators and media won’t share the research that shows that standardized testing is not proven to increase student achievement, that it can discriminate against those who come from disadvantaged backgrounds, or that they continue to manipulate the rules of how students take the test or how they score the test. They won’t tell you that when you compare students of similar backgrounds, my students excel compared to their peers.

That’s okay. The truth is, I don’t want any glory for this flawed system of accountability. My hope is that someday, we will realize we need to look at the growth students show over the whole year, and not just measure it on a single day. More than anything, I just want my students and teachers to know they are the best of the best and no score on this test WILL EVER CHANGE THAT! I am so proud of each and every adult and child. You are WORLD CHANGERS and I am honored to get to spend each day with you. Let’s do this, be awesome, and get back to what really matters…the growth and development of each person in our learning community.

Signed One Very Proud Principal

Failure is an Option

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So having just seen The Last Jedi, one of the most memorable moments for me is the return of Yoda and his wisdom: “The greatest teacher, failure is.”  Ironically, as a society, we tend to spend a great deal of time trying to avoid failure, trying to convince others we didn’t fail, and justifying why failure wasn’t really our fault.  Entering 2018, I think we should embrace failure as a teacher, not an excuse, but a way to improve.

Embrace failure as a teacher, not an excuse, but a way to improve.
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Failure can help us learn to take risks.  Personally, I know that it is through my failure that I have reached a point where I had no choice but to choose something different.  I spent a great deal of time trying to make something work that just wasn’t meant to be. However, when I took a leap of faith and went in a different direction, everything just fell into place. Failure shouldn’t paralyze, it should energize us to find new solutions.

Failure can help us learn a needed lesson that we must face head-on.  Many times, there is a lesson to be learned from failure, a test that must be overcome before we can move on.  When we try to avoid failure we just face that same lesson again and again in a different context.  We must find the way to overcome that challenge before we can move forward. That very lesson may be the critical step before a gigantic breakthrough.

Failure helps us get rid of what doesn’t work and cling to those things and people that make us better. 
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Failure helps us learn to appreciate what we have. So often, we are always thinking about what we want or what we don’t have.  Sometimes, failure helps us realize the blessings. It helps us get rid of what doesn’t work and cling to those things and people that make us better.  We need to thank God for the unanswered prayers in our lives.  I have always found that when a certain path in my life didn’t work out, it was because God was preparing a much better option, one that I couldn’t have even dreamed of for myself. Failure helps the successes seem that much sweeter.

Failure takes grit to work through it, the grace to face it, and a growth mindset to rise above.
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Failure is certainly not an excuse to give up, to blame, or to settle for less. It is a great teacher, and if you listen, one that can make you better.Failure takes grit to work through it, the grace to face it, and a growth mindset to rise above. After all, as Henry Ford said, the only mistake is one from which we learn nothing.

I never lose. I either win, or I learn. Nelson Mandela
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30 Powerful Quotes on Failure

Blessed Beyond Measure, But Need Your Help

Education
I have recently been notified that I have been nominated for National Life Group’s 2017-18 Life Changer of the Year Award by one of my Degan families.  I am honored and humbled by this nomination, but must acknowledge that is our students, staff and Degan Community who make this honor possible.
This award gives Degan another possible way to show the world what a great school we have of diverse populations that come together and value each other, collaborate, and solve problems in productive ways to grow and become better every day.  Additionally, there is a monetary award.  Personally, this award would assist me continuing my graduate studies.  Doctoral school is an expensive endeavor and having a high school senior that is about to begin his own college pursuit, any amount helps.  Additionally, depending on the level I might achieve, Degan could receive up to $5000 which would go a long way to purchase much-needed headphones for our students.
Judging is based not only on the nomination but also the comments on my Life Changer of the Year profile page:
 I hope you might take a moment to go to this page and leave a comment, maybe it is the impact you have received through this blog, our collegial relationship in education, or things you have heard or seen about the great things going on at Degan.  Your comments matter.  Taking just a moment can have a huge impact on our campus and community to spread the greatness of Title I Schools and public education.  I have recently been reading stories of how they have had nominees on the Today Show sharing their stories, and you know how I love to tell everyone Degan’s great story and advocating for Title 1 schools.  You can also request support for me and for Degan by sharing this link on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media.  Please use the #LCOY and the judging committee can see those posts as well.
Thank you again for your consideration and support. Being principal of Degan is the best job ever and my dream come true.  I  wish you all a blessed Thanksgiving holiday.

Sincerely,

Vanessa Stuart

What Really Makes a Great School

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So, I talk a great deal about my amazing students, my incredible staff. All true. Today I am grateful for my unbelievable parents. Last night, I shared a situation at our PTA Meeting and 5th-grade performance, I shared a situation with them and asked for their support. Their commitment to our school and community is unbelievable. This might be a given if you were talking about a roomful of people from the same backgrounds. I have families from all walks of life, all different viewpoints. One thing is undeniable-they love our school. I had a situation where an outsider made some judgments based on paper scores and a school rating website. I asked them to be more vocal about Degan and they stepped up to the plate.

And just as a public service announcement, STAAR is only as good at telling you about a school as you compare apples to apples. It doesn’t tell you that my current fifth graders entered 1st grade with only half knowing their letters and sounds. (Because some of these kiddos just didn’t have the opportunity to have quality learning experience before coming to school and not because their parents didn’t love them with all their hearts. It’s all about access to resources!!). I can tell you that these same students were only about 61% passing STAAR on math as third graders. These same kids were over 70% passing in math last year and after our first district benchmark was over 90% and ABOVE the district average.

Great school: one where kids who were always going to pass or one who grows any student no matter what their background?
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Before you judge a book by its STAAR scores you might want to dig a little deeper to see the untold story. Does the TEA accountability report tell you that? Does it tell you how my diverse students wrote their own performance? Does it tell you how they “circle” and as a group work through their issues with each other and show value? Does it tell you about how innovative they are and how they use technology to create products to show their thinking or that one of my students is creating a documentary on being an NEU school and how that has affected her? I mean really, if kids could pass the test when they walked in the door does that prove a school is good versus one who grew kids like I described?

A great school is one who grows kids, teaches perseverance, and helps students thrive and collaborate with all walks of life.
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Oh, don’t worry. We are taking care of STAAR too. Not with test prep or drill and kill. But rather by deep learning. My students will accomplish whatever they dream of because they are amazing, they have incredible teachers, and because of our parents….they are the best in the world and support their school. They aren’t afraid of diversity and are willing to do whatever it takes, too.