Category Archives: grit

Finding My Words

Education, grit, growth mindset, Leadership, , , ,

When I started this blog, it was therapeutic. Words are my love language. Words act as my fuel and something I have also given freely to others to show them love and support. As I started my doctorate degree, the words from my blog were replaced by endless pages of graduate level writing. It was fine because I was writing about my passions to impact the world of education through scholarly texts, but then the worst happened.

In January 2020, shortly after turning 50, I got sick, really sick. I was hospitalized 3 times between January and March and six times by September. There was a point where I was so sick, I couldn’t climb a flight of stairs in my house or walk down the hall in my school. My husband would find me sitting up at night struggling to breathe. While I believe I had COVID (but this was prior to widespread testing) I was also diagnosed with hypercalcemia, A-FIB, diabetes, and a parathyroid tumor the size of walnut.

Being this sick made every day functioning difficult, not to mention graduate work and leading a school during a pandemic. On top of this, my nearly fifty-year-old school undergoing a massive renovation that included teams of construction workers and classrooms in temporary locations. I won’t lie that when the world shut down due to the pandemic, it was a relief for me. I could disappear and not feel the burden of taking care of others because I could barely take care of me.

I began treating my health and showed some improvement, but later that year, I experienced a personal trauma as well as watching family endure an unimaginable tragedy. Few people knew the depth of my despair. I was exhausted physically and emotionally. While my body slowly healed, I continued to feel dead inside. Finding anything left to give to others (which is key in leadership) was just impossible.

I had lost my love of words and was happy to sit in silence wasting away inside my own head.

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Somehow I had managed to pass my qualifying exams to enter doctoral candidacy during the height of my illness, but I lost my will to write. Even thinking about my dissertation caused extreme anxiety. I didn’t want to become an ABD (all but dissertation) statistic, but as I met with with my dissertation chairman in tears on multiple occasions, I was worried this was becoming a reality. I had lost my love of words and was often happy to sit silent wasting away inside my own head.

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This past June, I did the most difficult thing I have ever done. I changed my environment to find myself again. I left behind a school, people, and a community that I loved with all my soul. While I was proud of the work we had done together, respected the educators and would have done anything for them, and adored the children with all my heart, I had to change.

This past June, I did the most difficult thing I have ever done. I changed my environment to find myself again.

Two years of construction and district changes drained my passion. I had even considered retirement (which I became eligible for in January 2021). Luckily, with the coaching of three amazing professional mentors who were looking out for me and the undying love and support of my husband, I applied for a new job. Of course it wasn’t the job I originally thought I was applying for, but it was the job I needed. It was a school that needed me and the skills I possessed. I needed their love and appreciation along with the thrill of engaging work. It was a challenge that reignited my passion for being an educational leader. My change of setting even helped me get my dissertation back on track.

While I still have a ways to go in my recovery, I can finally say that after 18 months and the grace of God, I am on my way. The grief of leaving behind my first school as a principal is lessening. I love my new school and all the people in it. I am excited about the opportunity to learn even though the work is hard.

As for words, my heart is full from a letter written by a parent who wrote my superintendent to tell her how grateful she is to have me as the principal of her child’s school. This was followed by a letter from the superintendent telling me how grateful she was to have me as a leader in her district. My soul has been replenished and given my what I needed to pay this forward by sharing with others the words they may need to hear.

I needed their love and appreciation along with the thrill of engaging work.

For me, words matter. I don’t know if I will ever blog as much as I once did. However, the current state of our world has left many recovering from their own trauma and I hope that sharing my experiences inspires others to keep going. When you are lost it is important to do whatever it takes to find yourself and your passion. Change is hard, but wasting away is worse. Sometimes you have to let go of something you love to take care of yourself. You are worth it and eventually, with grit and the grace of God, you can find your words and a new love.

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Hitting the Wall

Best Practice, Education, grit, growth mindset, Leadership, Transformation, , , , , , , ,

Hitting the wall is a term often used to describe when a runner’s body just completely exhausts all of its energy while running a marathon. I must say, I am not a runner. If you see me running, you should probably run, too, as there is something chasing me! However, running and chasingI have found that this term has become meaningful to me this Spring. First, I felt I hit the wall in blogging. It wasn’t that my ideas, thoughts, or opinions were lacking, I just could not find the energy to get them on paper. It was probably a combination of so much energy being expended just in the day-to-day of running a school, but also, pouring your heart and soul on paper is a bigger challenge than I imagined. Putting yourself out there completely exposed, not always knowing how your words are received can be depleting, especially for someone whose “love language” is words of affirmation. Silence kills me!

I found this video and laughed so hard while making so many connections in my  life.

http:/https://youtu.be/3ItnxJLAOeY

One of the most powerful connections was an analogy of hitting the wall in education. For three years, I have been the principal of a campus in the middle of a great transformation. Our campus was in danger of being designated “improvement required” when I walked in marathon runnersthe door because scores on state assessments were in a free fall. As a result, my staff and I have been running a marathon at a sprinter’s pace. We have had to transform our understanding of teaching through a deeper understanding of the standards, practices that allow us to engage all learners at their levels of need, and a true comprehension of our students, many who come from backgrounds of poverty and trauma.

It is exhausting, to say the least, and a few weeks ago, I could see we were all about to hit the wall. So if our analogy of “hitting the wall” was appropriate, it aroused my curiosity to see what it is that runner’s do to avoid hitting the wall when they are likely very close to the finish line. What I found was some great advice that is more than relevant to educators in their last month of school:

1. Train-Whether a runner or an educator, proper training is essential.

You must continually be learning to refine your craft and become more effective in your implementation.
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Our students are continually evolving and so should we. We must learn how to become more efficient in choosing where to expend our energy so that we are always getting the most results. We cannot afford to use our precious resources on worrying about things we cannot change or on strategies or tasks that don’t get results.

measure of a man

2. Proper Nutrition-Hitting the wall is actually about the body and brain reaching glycogen depletion and no longer able to function effectively. Runners have now created complex formulas of when to consume which specific types of foods to have the fuel they need to finish the race. For educators, I think our nutrition is different. It is a mental nutrition of both learning and being around those who nourish our souls.

We need to feed our minds with things that help us stay positive and believe in our greater purpose.
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I think it is interesting in what I read about how runners also consider the need for complex carbs at a certain time while wanting simple sugars at other times. I think this true for educators. Sometimes we need to fill our brains with words of how wonderful we are and what a difference we make. Other times we need to feed on constructive criticism that helps us to contemplate how we can grow and improve, but always from people who have our best interest at heart.
3. Slow Down-I read that if a runner feels they are nearing the wall, they need to slow down to a “conversational pace” or one that they could speak with someone running next to them. How often as educators do we beginning moving so fast and become so out of breath we don’t realize we can’t carry on a conversation.
Sometimes,even when there is a sense of urgency, we just need to slow down and conserve some energy, so we don’t hit the wall.
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If you are so out of breath you can’t have a conversation with those around you; it’s time to slow down.

4. Have the Right Goal-I think one of the things I admire about runners is that even though there is a sea of runners, they really aren’t running against those around them. They are competing against themselves. They want to better their own time, not beat break throughsomeone else. Education has often been a competitive sport. “I want my scores to be better than theirs. I can’t share my ideas because I need to beat them.” I think we can all take some insight from runners, just as their bodies and abilities are not the same, neither are our classes or background experiences. We shouldn’t focus on someone else, but simply to reflect on ourselves and work to improve and get better each day, shaving a few seconds off our time as we run through each day.
5. Mental Toughness/Positivity-Ultimately, there is still times when a runner has done all of the previous steps exactly right and still begins to hit the wall. At that time, metal toughness and positivity prevail. A runner who thinks about his aching muscles and how too tough to killmuch time is left is doomed to fail. However, the runner who can focus on how much he has already accomplished and how close he is to his goals is more likely to recover. As educators, this time of year can be tough, but if you hyper focus on all that is not right and all that is left to be done, you too, are doomed like the runner hitting the wall. We must focus on each small accomplishment, celebrate each milestone, and remember we will accomplish whatever we set our sights on that is of value enough to have our actions align with our goals.

As we are running at breakneck speeds from April into May, I hope that each of you can focus on the goals you have to accomplish this year. Remember to slow down if you need to so that you at “conversation speed”. Maybe some extra nourishment is in order with a conversation with a trusted colleague.

You are only competing with yourself. Your mental toughness and positive attitude are the keys to finishing this race!
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Editable vector illustration of a man winning a race
Editable vector illustration of a man winning a race

No Excuses

Best Practice, Education, grit, growth mindset, poverty, Transformation, , , , , ,

I am fortunate to work in an amazing school district.  It is a district where the community has established values for educating our students in ways that prepare them for the 21st Century.  The primary focus is on understanding learning standards and valuing others and their diversity.  Nope, I didn’t mention test scores.  Amazing, right?

Don’t get me wrong.  We want our students to achieve proficiency on their tests. We just know that if we are educating our students in meaningful ways that include involving our community, integration of the meaningful use of technology, engaging students with choice, flexible seating, and collaboration they are more likely to learn.  If we teach at high find a waylevels, students will be able to transfer these skills to a test, but more importantly to LIFE!

As a part of this amazing district, we are also a part of an amazing group of districts called the North Texas Regional Consortium. These districts have banded together to proclaim higher standards for our students than skills encapsulated on a test.  They organize dates that allow campuses to visit each other and discuss the types of practices we value.

My campus always participates, whether it is as a host or someone who sends others out to visit.  Last year, during one of the times that we had visitors, a teacher approached me and said, “So you’re a ‘No Excuses University School.'”  I’m sure the look on my face was showing my lack of understanding as I said “Huh?”  She repeated herself, and I replied, “I have no idea what you mean.”  She said, “But you have to be.  You’re doing all the things.”  I said, “I’m not sure what you mean.” 

when-i-lost-my-excuses-i-found-my-results-298x300If nothing else, she peeked my curiosity. Long story short, I looked NEU up on the web. I saw that we were doing most of the concepts they valued: Creating a  “Universal Culture of Achievement,” Engaging in Collaboration, Using Standards to Drive Instruction, Using Assessment to be informed, Being Data-Driven,  Having Effective Systems to Manage Data, and Implementing Effective Interventions.  The focus was working with high poverty schools. Yes, this sounded like something my campus needed to be a part.

 I took a group of teachers to one of their institutes last Spring.  The most powerful thing I heard was about how often it is the adults making the excuses for why students cannot achieve. We say we believe all students cannot learn, yet we pigeon-hole students into a path that will never allow them access to higher education.  The group of teachers and I that attended knew immediately these were “our people” and within three months we had applied and become and No Excuses University School!  

 

I don’t think it matters if you are a high poverty school or not. The truth is; all studenexcuse limitts need teachers as advocates who prepare them to attend college so that they are ready if they choose.  A college degree is a statistical game-changer when it comes to financial success and avoiding adult poverty.  I don’t think educators make excuses because we are lazy or don’t care about kids.  Teachers make excuses because our hearts break for some of the difficult things students have already endured in their lives or because we have tried everything we know to do and just don’t know what else to try in helping our students. 

A “no excuses” mindset is not easy.  It’s something we have to practice. We began our year writing down our past excuses and throwing them in the trash.  We then wrote new pledges that said what we would do instead of using the old excuse.  Colleagues hold each other accountable for this daily. At my campus, we tell our students and parents that every student will be proficient or advanced in Reading, Writing, and Math, and we have challenged ourselves to look at any students who are not growing whether they are currently at the top, middle or bottom of our achievement continuum. .  It has been amazing to see our teachers and students rise to the new expectation.

I believe if you want to get results, you first have to have to get rid of all the reasons why you can’t and start believing that you can!