Tag Archives: leadership

Finding My Words

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When I started this blog, it was therapeutic. Words are my love language. Words act as my fuel and something I have also given freely to others to show them love and support. As I started my doctorate degree, the words from my blog were replaced by endless pages of graduate level writing. It was fine because I was writing about my passions to impact the world of education through scholarly texts, but then the worst happened.

In January 2020, shortly after turning 50, I got sick, really sick. I was hospitalized 3 times between January and March and six times by September. There was a point where I was so sick, I couldn’t climb a flight of stairs in my house or walk down the hall in my school. My husband would find me sitting up at night struggling to breathe. While I believe I had COVID (but this was prior to widespread testing) I was also diagnosed with hypercalcemia, A-FIB, diabetes, and a parathyroid tumor the size of walnut.

Being this sick made every day functioning difficult, not to mention graduate work and leading a school during a pandemic. On top of this, my nearly fifty-year-old school undergoing a massive renovation that included teams of construction workers and classrooms in temporary locations. I won’t lie that when the world shut down due to the pandemic, it was a relief for me. I could disappear and not feel the burden of taking care of others because I could barely take care of me.

I began treating my health and showed some improvement, but later that year, I experienced a personal trauma as well as watching family endure an unimaginable tragedy. Few people knew the depth of my despair. I was exhausted physically and emotionally. While my body slowly healed, I continued to feel dead inside. Finding anything left to give to others (which is key in leadership) was just impossible.

I had lost my love of words and was happy to sit in silence wasting away inside my own head.

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Somehow I had managed to pass my qualifying exams to enter doctoral candidacy during the height of my illness, but I lost my will to write. Even thinking about my dissertation caused extreme anxiety. I didn’t want to become an ABD (all but dissertation) statistic, but as I met with with my dissertation chairman in tears on multiple occasions, I was worried this was becoming a reality. I had lost my love of words and was often happy to sit silent wasting away inside my own head.

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This past June, I did the most difficult thing I have ever done. I changed my environment to find myself again. I left behind a school, people, and a community that I loved with all my soul. While I was proud of the work we had done together, respected the educators and would have done anything for them, and adored the children with all my heart, I had to change.

This past June, I did the most difficult thing I have ever done. I changed my environment to find myself again.

Two years of construction and district changes drained my passion. I had even considered retirement (which I became eligible for in January 2021). Luckily, with the coaching of three amazing professional mentors who were looking out for me and the undying love and support of my husband, I applied for a new job. Of course it wasn’t the job I originally thought I was applying for, but it was the job I needed. It was a school that needed me and the skills I possessed. I needed their love and appreciation along with the thrill of engaging work. It was a challenge that reignited my passion for being an educational leader. My change of setting even helped me get my dissertation back on track.

While I still have a ways to go in my recovery, I can finally say that after 18 months and the grace of God, I am on my way. The grief of leaving behind my first school as a principal is lessening. I love my new school and all the people in it. I am excited about the opportunity to learn even though the work is hard.

As for words, my heart is full from a letter written by a parent who wrote my superintendent to tell her how grateful she is to have me as the principal of her child’s school. This was followed by a letter from the superintendent telling me how grateful she was to have me as a leader in her district. My soul has been replenished and given my what I needed to pay this forward by sharing with others the words they may need to hear.

I needed their love and appreciation along with the thrill of engaging work.

For me, words matter. I don’t know if I will ever blog as much as I once did. However, the current state of our world has left many recovering from their own trauma and I hope that sharing my experiences inspires others to keep going. When you are lost it is important to do whatever it takes to find yourself and your passion. Change is hard, but wasting away is worse. Sometimes you have to let go of something you love to take care of yourself. You are worth it and eventually, with grit and the grace of God, you can find your words and a new love.

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Put On Your Red Vest

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I’m not sure I could ever truly find the words to express my gratitude to Learning Forward. Over the past eight years, I have been fortunate to learn amazing strategies to create focused yearlong professional learning plans for a campus based on data-driven need as a part of the Learning School Alliance Cohort, create a professional learning plan with a LF Foundation Campus Team Grant that helped forge a relationship that continues to this day with Norma Jackson, and with the help of the LF Foundation Principal as Leader of Professional Learning grant, become a Ruby Payne Certified Trainer and engage in deep study learning about grit and growth mindset that have helped my staff bridge a gap for students who don’t always believe in themselves in the school setting. I have met the amazing Shirley Hord, Marcia Tate, Jim Knight, and Michael Fullan, not to mention hearing countless other incredible forces in education.
There is no way I could ever repay the blessing this organization has been to me, so for the second time, I have given a week of service as a National Convention Host committee member. It is two weeks away from home (for the convention prior and the one in Dallas, which anyone who knows me, knows is beyond my comfort zone). It is long days on your feet and doing the legwork so that the thousands of attendees get to engage in amazing learning.
 
Despite this effort of trying to give back, I still manage to leave feeling I have received way more than I gave. I have served on two amazing host committees that have resulted in lifelong friendships with such talented educators. Service in 2013 not only resulted in new friendships that continue today, but it also helped me to find my way to Lewisville ISD. In 2018, I met I got to spend time with colleagues from my past and formed even more new friendships.
 
I was in awe my first Learning Forward Conference in 2010. I couldn’t believe how big, how structured, and how smoothly everything ran. I hope that we were able to do that for the people that attended this past week and that they will be inspired as I was at my first conference. Students deserve educators committed to learning and growing to be better every day and I believe that it is through not only learning but networking that this happens. Tonight, I hang up my host committee red vest, I can’t help but think that most of us have organizations that have transformed us as educators.  Who is that for you?  Have you put on a red vest to give back what you have been given?  Don’t just be a consumer.  Give back for all the great things you have been given. Don’t forget to put on the vest help serve those that have made you who you are today.
Thank you, Learning Forward! Thank you to Beth Brockman, our Red Vest Chair, and thank you to all the amazing red vests I was blessed to serve beside!  I look forward to continuing red vest adventures that may or may not include clumping!

Who Is Telling Your Story?

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Everyone has an opinion on everything.  This seems to be especially true when it comes to schools.  Unfortunately, so often, the people with opinions also have an agenda, and it’s not always positive.  Whether it’s an angry parent venting on social media, TEA labeling schools without telling the whole story, or school rating websites making judgments based on what they can glean from paper, everyone has something to say with a purpose to serve.  However, educators remain silent.

Maybe this is because as educators we know we have a noble job. We know we make a difference in the lives of children.  We most likely were compliant, rule-followers in school, which is often why we became a teacher, and therefore we believe that everyone will play nicely in the sandbox.  It would make sense that when it comes to teaching children, this role would be respected, honored, and of course, no one would seek to harm.

Unfortunately, this is not the case.  In so many instances, our world has become about the survival of the fittest and finding ways to make money.  Schools now compete for students which means competing for the dollars needed to educate them.  I will be honest, not one of my principal education classes covered marketing and advertising, but sometimes, it feels like this is a required skill in campus leadership.

Regardless of all of this and people’s opinions, whether or not you are a master of social media or advertising, someone is telling your story.  If there is silence, someone will fill in the emptiness with their opinions, good or bad.  Unfortunately, human nature leans towards negative.  According to Psychology Today(2003), Hara Marano states our brains are negatively biased, which is why smear campaigns tend to outdo positive ones. Our brain will react more strongly to negative stimuli than positive. The research shows that our brains need at least five positive interactions to counteract just one negative stimulus.  I think this is why we as campus leaders must be prepared to create the narrative for ourselves.  Not only must we share our journey, but we must also recognize that to achieve the positive ratio, we must enlist the help of others and prepare our teachers to do the same.

Our brains need at least 5 +s  to counteract just 1 -, therefore we must tell our positive campus story.
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It’s no longer enough to say, “that’s just not my thing.” We have to find ways to share the greatness of our schools.  Using a Twitter hashtag can be powerful.  Twitter allows quick, powerful posts in 280 characters to share a snippet of something great going on at a school.  Additionally, if a campus uses the hashtag, anyone on the campus can share and then everyone’s posts can be seen by anyone who searches that hashtag without having to follow every person in the school. I will be honest; Twitter wasn’t my thing when I became a principal. It is now.  Think about how many positives can be sent out in a matter of minutes, much less a school day.  At my campus, not only do we use our #WeAreDegan every year to tell our story, we often use supplemental hashtags that tell the story of our annual focus theme.  Last year, we also included #gameon #levelup to show how we were improving.  This year is all about #makingmagichappen for our students.

Is there any better school accountability than ongoing, real-time, evidence of student learning in pictures?
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Pictures are powerful in helping to reach the brain’s reactors.  Whether Twitter, Dojo, Facebook, or Instagram, a picture really does say a thousand words.  For parents or your community, there is no better way to give them a glimpse of what is going on inside your school.  You can share in an instant the joy on a child’s face when they overcome a challenge or the rituals and routines that make your school special.  On my campus, we celebrate every Friday as a campus. We celebrate our students as they demonstrate grit, growth mindset and a “college-ready attitude.”  But who would know this if they weren’t there?  For Degan elementary, we tweet about it.  Videos on social media and Youtube can help your stakeholders feel first hand what students experience.  It really isn’t as daunting as it seems and when parents and community feel a part of what you are doing, they tend to speak up for you!

When you blog, you give people insight into your values and beliefs and this can create trust. 
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Another powerful way to communicate is blogging.  I think this is the one that many find intimidating, I know I did when I first began.  I worried about people judging me or not reading at all. I had to reach the place where I just let my words be my purpose and not let it be about how many “likes” I could get.  When you blog, you give people insight into your values and beliefs and this can create trust.  For many, insight into who you are as a leader helps them to buy into what you are “selling” about your school.  If they feel connected to you, they are less likely to be distracted by negativity.  If nothing else, if constituents feel like they know you or that you are open, they are more likely to contact you to discuss issues rather than assume and fill that space of the unknown with negative assumptions. It doesn’t have to be long, it just has to speak from your leadership heart.

As leaders, we have to step up.  We have to tell our story.  Not only that, we have to help others understand a new vision of public education that prepares students for the 21st Century and a world that is very different than the education most Americans have had that has been deeply entrenched in regurgitation of information, strategies, and high-stakes testing.  We have to begin a new narrative of student engagement, problem-solving, and higher level thinking that prepares students for jobs that may not even exist as well as conquering issues that we couldn’t even imagine.  After all, if you don’t tell this story, who will?

If you don’t tell the story of what education can be without simply relying on test scores, who will?
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References

Marano, H. E. (2016, June 9). Our Brain’s Negative Bias. Retrieved October 18, 2018, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200306/our-brains-negative-bias

Thinking About Thinking

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I know that it has been awhile since I’ve posted here. It’s not that I haven’t been blogging.  I am deep in the middle of graduate coursework, attending full-time while I continue to lead the most amazing campus.  I still write and blog, it has just been more in the realm of my doctoral program.  However, I miss this outlet for sharing my thoughts on public education, best practices for schools, and leading with grit, grace, and growth mindset.

One of the things that I have pondered on teaching thinking is the triangle of instruction, curriculum, and assessment.  After all, “thinking” is the twelfth most used in the English language. I know that when I arrived at my campus six years ago, it was clear that our students could follow simple steps for finding answers, but higher-level thinking, flexibility in problem-solving, and explaining and justifying their thought processes was extremely difficult. Additionally, teachers aren’t really prepared in school for teaching thinking. Teacher preparation programs typical prepare future teachers in teaching  content.

I think about the ambiguity of defining thinking and how that complicates teaching our students how to think Beyer, 1984).  If we struggle to define what it means to teach thinking, then it certainly complicates creating a curriculum around teaching thinking.  If we cannot create a curriculum that defines thinking, then we will also struggle to adequately use the best instructional methods.  Furthermore, Beyer outlines the difficulty in assessing thinking (1984).

If for the 21st Century, our students face demands that require thinking even more than ever, it seems the curriculum triangle around thinking would also be more important than ever.  I know that in Texas when we switched from TAKS to STAAR, it was because decision makers felt we needed a test more geared toward thinking and problem-solving rather than regurgitation of steps, strategies, and facts. However, we did not prepare teachers with curriculum or instructional strategies geared toward thinking. Additionally, we have already discovered how difficult it is to measure thinking on a standardized test.

Why then do we continue to put money and efforts into a flawed test and accountability system that cannot measure that which we purport to be important? Even if we put our energy into designing curriculum and instruction geared toward teaching students high levels of thinking, how do we assess whether this is happening in a way that these results can be shared with our communities who demand accountability from our schools? I certainly believe that doing what is right by students is the biggest priority, but as a campus principal, I also understand the pressure put on schools and the ties to funding to achieve at certain levels.  To be successful in an endeavor to improve thinking in teaching, we also have to find a way to document achievement as a result of our efforts.

References

Beyer, B. K. (1984). Improving thinking skills: Defining the problem. The Phi Delta Kappan, 65(7), 486-490.

Failure is an Option

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So having just seen The Last Jedi, one of the most memorable moments for me is the return of Yoda and his wisdom: “The greatest teacher, failure is.”  Ironically, as a society, we tend to spend a great deal of time trying to avoid failure, trying to convince others we didn’t fail, and justifying why failure wasn’t really our fault.  Entering 2018, I think we should embrace failure as a teacher, not an excuse, but a way to improve.

Embrace failure as a teacher, not an excuse, but a way to improve.
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Failure can help us learn to take risks.  Personally, I know that it is through my failure that I have reached a point where I had no choice but to choose something different.  I spent a great deal of time trying to make something work that just wasn’t meant to be. However, when I took a leap of faith and went in a different direction, everything just fell into place. Failure shouldn’t paralyze, it should energize us to find new solutions.

Failure can help us learn a needed lesson that we must face head-on.  Many times, there is a lesson to be learned from failure, a test that must be overcome before we can move on.  When we try to avoid failure we just face that same lesson again and again in a different context.  We must find the way to overcome that challenge before we can move forward. That very lesson may be the critical step before a gigantic breakthrough.

Failure helps us get rid of what doesn’t work and cling to those things and people that make us better. 
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Failure helps us learn to appreciate what we have. So often, we are always thinking about what we want or what we don’t have.  Sometimes, failure helps us realize the blessings. It helps us get rid of what doesn’t work and cling to those things and people that make us better.  We need to thank God for the unanswered prayers in our lives.  I have always found that when a certain path in my life didn’t work out, it was because God was preparing a much better option, one that I couldn’t have even dreamed of for myself. Failure helps the successes seem that much sweeter.

Failure takes grit to work through it, the grace to face it, and a growth mindset to rise above.
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Failure is certainly not an excuse to give up, to blame, or to settle for less. It is a great teacher, and if you listen, one that can make you better.Failure takes grit to work through it, the grace to face it, and a growth mindset to rise above. After all, as Henry Ford said, the only mistake is one from which we learn nothing.

I never lose. I either win, or I learn. Nelson Mandela
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30 Powerful Quotes on Failure

What Really Makes a Great School

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So, I talk a great deal about my amazing students, my incredible staff. All true. Today I am grateful for my unbelievable parents. Last night, I shared a situation at our PTA Meeting and 5th-grade performance, I shared a situation with them and asked for their support. Their commitment to our school and community is unbelievable. This might be a given if you were talking about a roomful of people from the same backgrounds. I have families from all walks of life, all different viewpoints. One thing is undeniable-they love our school. I had a situation where an outsider made some judgments based on paper scores and a school rating website. I asked them to be more vocal about Degan and they stepped up to the plate.

And just as a public service announcement, STAAR is only as good at telling you about a school as you compare apples to apples. It doesn’t tell you that my current fifth graders entered 1st grade with only half knowing their letters and sounds. (Because some of these kiddos just didn’t have the opportunity to have quality learning experience before coming to school and not because their parents didn’t love them with all their hearts. It’s all about access to resources!!). I can tell you that these same students were only about 61% passing STAAR on math as third graders. These same kids were over 70% passing in math last year and after our first district benchmark was over 90% and ABOVE the district average.

Great school: one where kids who were always going to pass or one who grows any student no matter what their background?
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Before you judge a book by its STAAR scores you might want to dig a little deeper to see the untold story. Does the TEA accountability report tell you that? Does it tell you how my diverse students wrote their own performance? Does it tell you how they “circle” and as a group work through their issues with each other and show value? Does it tell you about how innovative they are and how they use technology to create products to show their thinking or that one of my students is creating a documentary on being an NEU school and how that has affected her? I mean really, if kids could pass the test when they walked in the door does that prove a school is good versus one who grew kids like I described?

A great school is one who grows kids, teaches perseverance, and helps students thrive and collaborate with all walks of life.
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Oh, don’t worry. We are taking care of STAAR too. Not with test prep or drill and kill. But rather by deep learning. My students will accomplish whatever they dream of because they are amazing, they have incredible teachers, and because of our parents….they are the best in the world and support their school. They aren’t afraid of diversity and are willing to do whatever it takes, too.

Game On- Level UP!

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As I prepared for the 2017-18  school year, I had lots to consider:  my learning the past year as a part of the Texas Principal’s Visioning Institute, the feedback that I received from my students, staff, and parents through various data points, the past that had resulted in the path Degan was on, and the aspirations that we had for our students. The question that kept ringing in my head was “How in the world do I create a vision to help us move forward with all of this to consider?”

To level up classrooms, teachers need time to learn, practice, and design new ways for students to learn.
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My campus had been fortunate to experience lots of success and recognition for the accomplishments we have made with transformation.  At the same time, we have also experienced some pretty big hits to culture. It’s hard to put this much energy into getting our flywheel moving. I think we all thought after three years, it would be starting to have its own momentum.   It’s not very comforting to hear that real change takes three to five years when you are in year four.  How would we keep moving forward? What would be our rallying cry for this next push to transform learning in meaningful ways so that our students could be successful?

The answer was actually in the data.  It was clear that as a campus we had made great strides in understanding what it was students were to learn and proven strategies to ensure that learning.  We understood our changing demographics and could relate to them and build meaningful relationships.  Yet, we were still short of the goal.  What our data showed was that we needed to evolve in how we were having teachers use technology and that teachers wanting to design more engaging, innovative work, but they needed time and practice to make this happen.

Then it hit me.  It was time to get our “game on”, literally, and level up learning for our students.

I love the mental image this theme created.  It acknowledges that first, our work, like games should be fun!  It should be challenging enough to keep our interest, while still being attainable.  We should receive feedback that adds value and helps us shape our decision-making to improve our processes.  We need to feel a part of a network in achieving the goal.

…as adults, we have to learn how our students learn and then incorporate this into the knowledge we want them to gain.
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I am so excited about this year.  Today, we had our first professional learning and we made connections to the work of Jane McGonigal and her book Reality is Broken: Why Games Make Us Better and How They Can Change the World.  While not everything in learning has to be digital, it recognizes that games release some of the control to the gamer and allow them to test out theories to achieve the goals.  My teachers had the chance to explore how to incorporate some of these concepts into their learning design today.  Today teachers created and shared some cool new ideas.  I can’t wait to see the impact in the classrooms with students!

For my afternoon learning, I got to reconnect with the Texas Principal’s Visioning Institute.  Listening to Alan November just reinforced my belief that my campus is on the right path.  When we only focus on testing, we don’t have fun.

We have to be willing to release some control and let students explore, get messy, and LOVE what they are doing. 
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Our current generation of students has never lived without technology in their lives.  They spend 2-3 hours a day “gaming”.  According to McGonigal, over the course of their school years from fifth grade to graduation, they will likely spend as much time on games as they do in school.  We have to prepare these new learners for a new future.  That may mean that as adults, we have to “learn” how they learn and incorporate it into the knowledge we want them to gain.  It’s time to level up and do things differently than we have always done. GAME ON!

 

Celebrate Success (Even When It’s Someone Else’s)

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It’s pretty easy to celebrate your own accomplishments.  I mean, you know your journey.  You know what you have been through to carry out the goal.  However, it can be harder to celebrate the success of others.  It got me thinking.

  • Do we not celebrate the success of others because of the competitive world we live in?  Maybe we don’t celebrate because we are fearful that someone else’s success diminishes our own.  Maybe it makes us feel a little safer with our own status.
  • Do we not notice? Let’s face it, it’s a fast pace world we live in. Maybe we get so busy, we just don’t see anything going on with anyone else because we have hyper-focused on our own circumstances.
  • Do we doubt the impact our “congratulations” mean to someone else?  Maybe we think that the other person will question our sincerity or even value our acknowledgement of what they have accomplished.

Recently I had a colleague of a campus that had been through a tremendous challenge to help her campus meet some specified accountability standards.  While I had not directly experienced the steps and measures they had gone through to achieve the goal.  I knew it was certainly arduous.  Her team rallied. They invested.  They learned. They reflected and they grew.  Most importantly, they never gave up.  It was huge accomplishment when they achieved this task they had worked on for years.

As I watched them celebrate, it hit me how important it was that not only they celebrate for themselves, or be acknowledged by superiors, but that they be acknowledged by peers and colleagues.  I didn’t know whether my words would really matter to them, but it just seemed important.  When we live in a world where education is constantly under fire, we must stand together in good times and in bad. It just seems like it’s easier to acknowledge and feel pity for someone’s struggles. We must not compete against each other, but celebrate each educational organization as a part of the great big “whole” of public educators who make a difference for children.  That is why my teacher leaders did a twitter storm of celebration for this campus marrying their hashtag and ours to celebrate their success.

…we must stand together in good times and bad. It just appears it is easier to acknowledge and feel pity for the struggles.
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I don’t think it matters if you are a district, a school, or a teacher of a classroom.  As Susan Phillips says “Celebrate the success of others.  High tide floats all ships.” When you are in a battle, you unite your armies, not battle over who is the frontline or the support. Both are critical to winning longterm.  We must recognize that every success of any campus is asuccess for all public educators.  It’s a check in the win column to tell the world what a difference a group of educators can make in the lives of children when they have a common vision and purpose. Congratulations, Central Elementary! You have accomplished great things.  You have shown grit, growth mindset, and grace under fire!  You did it and you make us all look good because of that!

 

 

This I Believe

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When I was growing up, I wanted to be a leader for the wrong reasons. I wanted to be a leader because I thought that was the person in charge. Then, with maturity and many failed leadership experiences, I began to see the heavy burden that comes with the leadership role. Leadership even became something I avoided for a while. This is because I came to believe leadership is not about power, but all about service. Service to people, service to the community, service to a greater cause.

This I believe…

Leadership is about knowing the people you aspire to lead and being willing to make the sacrifices necessary for their success. It is about filling their cups, taking their burden, celebrating them whenever possible, and having a deep enough relationship with them that you can tell them things they need to hear to improve without damaging the connection.

Leadership is about recognizing that bad leadership will motivate people to be different, while good leadership will motivate people to be more. Leaders must show grace even when none is given in return. Walking the walk, inspiring hope, constant reflection and always considering the “what ifs” for improving the human condition for those they serve are the traits of a good leader.

Bad leaders will motivate people to be different, while good leaders will motivate people to be more.
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Leadership is about having a continually developing a vision of where your organization needs to go to make the world a better place, and having the skills to continually learn and grow to adjust and correct the course to get there. It really is never about the destination. Rather, it is always about the journey and the experiences that shape us along the way.

Leadership is about modeling risk-taking. Sometimes risk-taking results in failures. But part of that modeling is getting back up, learning from mistakes, and starting again with a new perspective. Even more important is recognizing that sometimes you have big wins when big risks pay off. But even then, you don’t stop. You celebrate the moment and then form your next plan…you keep learning….you keep growing…you keep getting better rather than settling for good enough.

Leadership is about developing the capacity of others. True leaders recognize that the most important missions are too big for any one person. Therefore they teach and model and release responsibility so that a legacy exists long beyond the leader’s time. Leaders recognize when the required path is uncomfortable or hard but build on the strengths of those they lead to accomplishing the task despite the challenges. Leaders grow leaders, so the vision expands and has a greater impact of good.

Leaders grow leaders, so the vision expands and has a greater impact of good.
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Leadership is about being humble and giving all the credit to those you serve when things go right, but a true leader is willing to be accountable when things go wrong. This type of leader continually reflects on what they may have done to set others up for success so it can be repeated, but also considers the deficits in their actions that caused the failure and is willing to adjust their actions so that it doesn’t happen again.

Leadership can be exhausting. It can be thankless and focal point of blame when things don’t go right. Sometimes it would simply be easier to say, “This is how it’s going to be done because I said so.” Sometimes you want to close your door, or say “Not now.” You want to say, “What about me?” Sometimes, it can even be, “I give up.” Then I remember this is not leadership and start again.

This I believe, when done right, leadership cultivates others who are willing to serve and inspire others and this is how you make the world better.

When done right, leadership cultivates those who will also serve and inspire others…this is how you make the world better.
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Thank you to N2 Learning for this experience that helped define who I am as a leader, my partner in the experience Donna, my district administrators for this amazing opportunity, my constant support and mentor Sherry, for my incredible Degan Community who make me want to be better every day.

This I Believe 

Mercy and Grace

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With Easter upon us, it has gotten me doing a great deal of reflection on God’s mercy versus God’s grace.  God’s mercy is the fact that while we deserve punishment for our sins, they are wiped clean.  Because of His mercy, we do not have to face eternal damnation.  So what about His grace?  Grace is that God gives us kindness we do not deserve. We did not deserve His son to die on the cross for our sins, but he gave his son for us anyway.

We, too, have the ability to give both grace and mercy to our fellow man.  I have seen that in the last couple of weeks at my school. I have been unnerved lately at some of the adult behavior that I have witnessed. I seem to have encountered more and more parents yelling, screaming and cursing in the presence of children or belittling staff who are just doing their jobs. I think it has to do with the social climate of our country and intense stress so many people are under. Unfortunately, I have had to confront several parents about their behavior and expectations of how we must treat each other to maintain a collaborative relationship and do what is best for children.  For a couple of these situations, it involved several follow-up conversations where those parents were able to explain some things going on in their

Unfortunately, I have had to confront several parents about their behavior and reiterate expectations of how we must treat each other to maintain a collaborative relationship and do what is best for children.  For a couple of these situations, it involved several follow-up conversations where those parents were able to explain some things going on in their lives.  These were not examples of “mercy” because the bad behavior was not tolerated. However, grace was extended through the absence of personal judgment and the willingness to continue to try to maintain the relationship. Those same adults took full responsibility and gave sincere unprompted apologies to those they had wronged.  I believe they did this because they were given grace.

I see this with students, too.  I have a couple of students who ended up at the alternative school for some persistent bad behavior.  They had to be held accountable at this level because other measures were not working and their behavior was becoming disruptive to others’ learning.  I went to visit them one day and both gave me gigantic hugs and stated they were surprised to see me.  I explained to them that while they were gone, they were still my students and I needed to check on them. They had to be accountable for their behavior, but it didn’t change my love for them or my concern for their well-being.

I have found that if students make a mistake and are given “mercy”, they are usually right back in the same place after a short period of time.  However, if they are held accountable for their actions while also shown kindness, behavior had the potential to change.  All humans need to know that someone believes in their ability to be better.  Underserved kindness, or grace, says to that person, “I believe in you, no matter what your past has been.”

Underserved kindness, or grace, says to that person, “I believe in you, no matter what your past has been.”
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To extend “mercy”, you must first be in some sort of a position of power to enact punishment.  However, sometimes “mercy” backfires by allowing bad behavior to continue because it is seen as acceptance of the behavior. Sometimes, we aren’t even in a place to show mercy because we don’t hold the power to give the consequence.   “Grace” doesn’t require power, but more the willingness to show kindness where none is deserved. It requires the person giving grace to put someone else’s humanity before their own desire to “make someone pay” for their wrongdoing.  Grace has the power to change behavior for the better because there is hope for something more. Sometimes “grace” and the hope it can inspire is much more important.