Tag Archives: relationships

Finding My Words

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When I started this blog, it was therapeutic. Words are my love language. Words act as my fuel and something I have also given freely to others to show them love and support. As I started my doctorate degree, the words from my blog were replaced by endless pages of graduate level writing. It was fine because I was writing about my passions to impact the world of education through scholarly texts, but then the worst happened.

In January 2020, shortly after turning 50, I got sick, really sick. I was hospitalized 3 times between January and March and six times by September. There was a point where I was so sick, I couldn’t climb a flight of stairs in my house or walk down the hall in my school. My husband would find me sitting up at night struggling to breathe. While I believe I had COVID (but this was prior to widespread testing) I was also diagnosed with hypercalcemia, A-FIB, diabetes, and a parathyroid tumor the size of walnut.

Being this sick made every day functioning difficult, not to mention graduate work and leading a school during a pandemic. On top of this, my nearly fifty-year-old school undergoing a massive renovation that included teams of construction workers and classrooms in temporary locations. I won’t lie that when the world shut down due to the pandemic, it was a relief for me. I could disappear and not feel the burden of taking care of others because I could barely take care of me.

I began treating my health and showed some improvement, but later that year, I experienced a personal trauma as well as watching family endure an unimaginable tragedy. Few people knew the depth of my despair. I was exhausted physically and emotionally. While my body slowly healed, I continued to feel dead inside. Finding anything left to give to others (which is key in leadership) was just impossible.

I had lost my love of words and was happy to sit in silence wasting away inside my own head.

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Somehow I had managed to pass my qualifying exams to enter doctoral candidacy during the height of my illness, but I lost my will to write. Even thinking about my dissertation caused extreme anxiety. I didn’t want to become an ABD (all but dissertation) statistic, but as I met with with my dissertation chairman in tears on multiple occasions, I was worried this was becoming a reality. I had lost my love of words and was often happy to sit silent wasting away inside my own head.

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This past June, I did the most difficult thing I have ever done. I changed my environment to find myself again. I left behind a school, people, and a community that I loved with all my soul. While I was proud of the work we had done together, respected the educators and would have done anything for them, and adored the children with all my heart, I had to change.

This past June, I did the most difficult thing I have ever done. I changed my environment to find myself again.

Two years of construction and district changes drained my passion. I had even considered retirement (which I became eligible for in January 2021). Luckily, with the coaching of three amazing professional mentors who were looking out for me and the undying love and support of my husband, I applied for a new job. Of course it wasn’t the job I originally thought I was applying for, but it was the job I needed. It was a school that needed me and the skills I possessed. I needed their love and appreciation along with the thrill of engaging work. It was a challenge that reignited my passion for being an educational leader. My change of setting even helped me get my dissertation back on track.

While I still have a ways to go in my recovery, I can finally say that after 18 months and the grace of God, I am on my way. The grief of leaving behind my first school as a principal is lessening. I love my new school and all the people in it. I am excited about the opportunity to learn even though the work is hard.

As for words, my heart is full from a letter written by a parent who wrote my superintendent to tell her how grateful she is to have me as the principal of her child’s school. This was followed by a letter from the superintendent telling me how grateful she was to have me as a leader in her district. My soul has been replenished and given my what I needed to pay this forward by sharing with others the words they may need to hear.

I needed their love and appreciation along with the thrill of engaging work.

For me, words matter. I don’t know if I will ever blog as much as I once did. However, the current state of our world has left many recovering from their own trauma and I hope that sharing my experiences inspires others to keep going. When you are lost it is important to do whatever it takes to find yourself and your passion. Change is hard, but wasting away is worse. Sometimes you have to let go of something you love to take care of yourself. You are worth it and eventually, with grit and the grace of God, you can find your words and a new love.

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Put On Your Red Vest

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I’m not sure I could ever truly find the words to express my gratitude to Learning Forward. Over the past eight years, I have been fortunate to learn amazing strategies to create focused yearlong professional learning plans for a campus based on data-driven need as a part of the Learning School Alliance Cohort, create a professional learning plan with a LF Foundation Campus Team Grant that helped forge a relationship that continues to this day with Norma Jackson, and with the help of the LF Foundation Principal as Leader of Professional Learning grant, become a Ruby Payne Certified Trainer and engage in deep study learning about grit and growth mindset that have helped my staff bridge a gap for students who don’t always believe in themselves in the school setting. I have met the amazing Shirley Hord, Marcia Tate, Jim Knight, and Michael Fullan, not to mention hearing countless other incredible forces in education.
There is no way I could ever repay the blessing this organization has been to me, so for the second time, I have given a week of service as a National Convention Host committee member. It is two weeks away from home (for the convention prior and the one in Dallas, which anyone who knows me, knows is beyond my comfort zone). It is long days on your feet and doing the legwork so that the thousands of attendees get to engage in amazing learning.
 
Despite this effort of trying to give back, I still manage to leave feeling I have received way more than I gave. I have served on two amazing host committees that have resulted in lifelong friendships with such talented educators. Service in 2013 not only resulted in new friendships that continue today, but it also helped me to find my way to Lewisville ISD. In 2018, I met I got to spend time with colleagues from my past and formed even more new friendships.
 
I was in awe my first Learning Forward Conference in 2010. I couldn’t believe how big, how structured, and how smoothly everything ran. I hope that we were able to do that for the people that attended this past week and that they will be inspired as I was at my first conference. Students deserve educators committed to learning and growing to be better every day and I believe that it is through not only learning but networking that this happens. Tonight, I hang up my host committee red vest, I can’t help but think that most of us have organizations that have transformed us as educators.  Who is that for you?  Have you put on a red vest to give back what you have been given?  Don’t just be a consumer.  Give back for all the great things you have been given. Don’t forget to put on the vest help serve those that have made you who you are today.
Thank you, Learning Forward! Thank you to Beth Brockman, our Red Vest Chair, and thank you to all the amazing red vests I was blessed to serve beside!  I look forward to continuing red vest adventures that may or may not include clumping!

The Truth About Tomorrow’s Test

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So today I visited all my fourth and fifth-grade classes at the end of the day. I wanted to take a moment just to remind them that tomorrow is NOT the most important day of the year. I wanted them to know that a test will never have the ability to show me what I already know, which is how much each and every one of them has grown not only since August but since they began at Degan. Tomorrow’s test will never be able to show all of their hard work. It won’t show how some of my students have overcome tremendous adversity: parents with illness or having parents that just cannot be a part of their lives right now, food insecurity, not always knowing whether the electricity bill can be paid, fighting against disabilities, and many more challenges too numerous to name.

Tomorrow’s test won’t measure the fact that my teachers have held children while they cried, provided them with food and clothes, found resources for a family in need, or balanced the push of “you can do better” with the support of “I will always be here to catch you.” Tomorrow’s test won’t measure the hours they spend finding solutions to the struggles my student’s face. It won’t show the tears they have cried for these students or the times they have celebrated each small success.

The legislators and media won’t share the research that shows that standardized testing is not proven to increase student achievement, that it can discriminate against those who come from disadvantaged backgrounds, or that they continue to manipulate the rules of how students take the test or how they score the test. They won’t tell you that when you compare students of similar backgrounds, my students excel compared to their peers.

That’s okay. The truth is, I don’t want any glory for this flawed system of accountability. My hope is that someday, we will realize we need to look at the growth students show over the whole year, and not just measure it on a single day. More than anything, I just want my students and teachers to know they are the best of the best and no score on this test WILL EVER CHANGE THAT! I am so proud of each and every adult and child. You are WORLD CHANGERS and I am honored to get to spend each day with you. Let’s do this, be awesome, and get back to what really matters…the growth and development of each person in our learning community.

Signed One Very Proud Principal

What Really Makes a Great School

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So, I talk a great deal about my amazing students, my incredible staff. All true. Today I am grateful for my unbelievable parents. Last night, I shared a situation at our PTA Meeting and 5th-grade performance, I shared a situation with them and asked for their support. Their commitment to our school and community is unbelievable. This might be a given if you were talking about a roomful of people from the same backgrounds. I have families from all walks of life, all different viewpoints. One thing is undeniable-they love our school. I had a situation where an outsider made some judgments based on paper scores and a school rating website. I asked them to be more vocal about Degan and they stepped up to the plate.

And just as a public service announcement, STAAR is only as good at telling you about a school as you compare apples to apples. It doesn’t tell you that my current fifth graders entered 1st grade with only half knowing their letters and sounds. (Because some of these kiddos just didn’t have the opportunity to have quality learning experience before coming to school and not because their parents didn’t love them with all their hearts. It’s all about access to resources!!). I can tell you that these same students were only about 61% passing STAAR on math as third graders. These same kids were over 70% passing in math last year and after our first district benchmark was over 90% and ABOVE the district average.

Great school: one where kids who were always going to pass or one who grows any student no matter what their background?
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Before you judge a book by its STAAR scores you might want to dig a little deeper to see the untold story. Does the TEA accountability report tell you that? Does it tell you how my diverse students wrote their own performance? Does it tell you how they “circle” and as a group work through their issues with each other and show value? Does it tell you about how innovative they are and how they use technology to create products to show their thinking or that one of my students is creating a documentary on being an NEU school and how that has affected her? I mean really, if kids could pass the test when they walked in the door does that prove a school is good versus one who grew kids like I described?

A great school is one who grows kids, teaches perseverance, and helps students thrive and collaborate with all walks of life.
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Oh, don’t worry. We are taking care of STAAR too. Not with test prep or drill and kill. But rather by deep learning. My students will accomplish whatever they dream of because they are amazing, they have incredible teachers, and because of our parents….they are the best in the world and support their school. They aren’t afraid of diversity and are willing to do whatever it takes, too.

Game On- Level UP!

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As I prepared for the 2017-18  school year, I had lots to consider:  my learning the past year as a part of the Texas Principal’s Visioning Institute, the feedback that I received from my students, staff, and parents through various data points, the past that had resulted in the path Degan was on, and the aspirations that we had for our students. The question that kept ringing in my head was “How in the world do I create a vision to help us move forward with all of this to consider?”

To level up classrooms, teachers need time to learn, practice, and design new ways for students to learn.
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My campus had been fortunate to experience lots of success and recognition for the accomplishments we have made with transformation.  At the same time, we have also experienced some pretty big hits to culture. It’s hard to put this much energy into getting our flywheel moving. I think we all thought after three years, it would be starting to have its own momentum.   It’s not very comforting to hear that real change takes three to five years when you are in year four.  How would we keep moving forward? What would be our rallying cry for this next push to transform learning in meaningful ways so that our students could be successful?

The answer was actually in the data.  It was clear that as a campus we had made great strides in understanding what it was students were to learn and proven strategies to ensure that learning.  We understood our changing demographics and could relate to them and build meaningful relationships.  Yet, we were still short of the goal.  What our data showed was that we needed to evolve in how we were having teachers use technology and that teachers wanting to design more engaging, innovative work, but they needed time and practice to make this happen.

Then it hit me.  It was time to get our “game on”, literally, and level up learning for our students.

I love the mental image this theme created.  It acknowledges that first, our work, like games should be fun!  It should be challenging enough to keep our interest, while still being attainable.  We should receive feedback that adds value and helps us shape our decision-making to improve our processes.  We need to feel a part of a network in achieving the goal.

…as adults, we have to learn how our students learn and then incorporate this into the knowledge we want them to gain.
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I am so excited about this year.  Today, we had our first professional learning and we made connections to the work of Jane McGonigal and her book Reality is Broken: Why Games Make Us Better and How They Can Change the World.  While not everything in learning has to be digital, it recognizes that games release some of the control to the gamer and allow them to test out theories to achieve the goals.  My teachers had the chance to explore how to incorporate some of these concepts into their learning design today.  Today teachers created and shared some cool new ideas.  I can’t wait to see the impact in the classrooms with students!

For my afternoon learning, I got to reconnect with the Texas Principal’s Visioning Institute.  Listening to Alan November just reinforced my belief that my campus is on the right path.  When we only focus on testing, we don’t have fun.

We have to be willing to release some control and let students explore, get messy, and LOVE what they are doing. 
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Our current generation of students has never lived without technology in their lives.  They spend 2-3 hours a day “gaming”.  According to McGonigal, over the course of their school years from fifth grade to graduation, they will likely spend as much time on games as they do in school.  We have to prepare these new learners for a new future.  That may mean that as adults, we have to “learn” how they learn and incorporate it into the knowledge we want them to gain.  It’s time to level up and do things differently than we have always done. GAME ON!

 

Hills to Die On

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The phrase “a hill to die on” is the idea that the battle you are facing could cost you everything.  This metaphor may have originated from the Viet Nam War and the Battle of Hamburger Hill when many lives were lost, but it seemed to be a position of little strategic significance.

"What makes this battle so significant is that the hill was of little strategic value, which was proven by the fact that it was abandoned by the US forces two weeks later. But more significant is the fact that the fall-out from this battle back home forced the Nixon administration to order the end of major tactical ground operations in Vietnam. So in a sense the hill and the battle were won while at the same time losing the war!"

As a first-year principal, I remember often saying “that’s not a hill to die on for me.” Essentially, I was trying to communicate that the things my staff members were asking about weren’t a battle worth risking everything for in my opinion. My mindset was if it doesn’t matter, why not let someone else win. Whether schedules or teaching resources, these weren’t the things that really mattered and so if it allowed for some power and control.  It was worth it to me to let them have that satisfaction of choice.

However, at some point, I realized I hadn’t established the hills I was ready to defend.  Establishing your hills actually takes more work as a leader.  It involves picking the things that really matter, and you will never give in when they are in question.  Choosing is critically important because one can’t defend every position, or you spread yourself too thin.  As a leader, determining your “hills” is probably one of the most important things, you will do in establishing your campus culture and eventually your legacy.

Determining hills to die on is one of the most important things you will do in establishing campus culture and your legacy.
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It was probably during my third year as a campus principal I could finally articulate my ‘hills.’ First, no matter what, I wanted to make sure every decision made on my campus was what was best for kids.  Sometimes this wasn’t what was easiest for adults, but it was always what was best for kids. After all, in a school, children are our entire reason for existence.  I think I knew this one from the time I entered education.  It is simply our purpose.

My second hill took longer to determine, but now it is so easy to stand behind.  EVERYONE grows. From our students to teachers, to parents to me.  We all grow. If you can’t grow, how in the world can you teach others to grow? I personally don’t care how fast you are growing as long as you do.  Sometimes, the person the furthest behind grows the fastest because they have the most room.  Sometimes, you may have a rock star who thinks they’ve reached the finish line.  I will take the person who grows over someone who is stagnant any day.  Ultimately, you can’t teach someone to learn and grow if you aren’t an expert in a growth mindset and constantly this skill yourself.

My third hill is advocacy.  With public education under attack today, I believe public educators must stand up for their school, their district, and public education as a whole.  We have an important job. It is the job that makes all other jobs possible.  We can prepare our students to be better at collaboration, communication, and problem-solving than the generations before us.  We can teach them to value those that are different from themselves and live in harmony.  It does not mean that public education is perfect, but it does mean that it is vital.  We cannot afford to allow others to spread misconceptions and false information about what we do, and we certainly cannot be thesource of such detriment.

People are not willing to continually risk what they have if you ask them to take risks for things that don’t matter. 
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I do believe you cannot defend every hill.  Outside of these three things, every other decision I encounter means considering how that decision impacts these three priorities. If it does matter, I let it go. A while ago, I encountered a colleague where everything was a big deal.  Everything had to be a battle. It was hard to support her, but because it was exhausting.  I think if you try to defend everything, you just end up losing it all.  It is impossible to feel that passionate on every battle, so you end up just expending all your resources. People aren’t willing to continually risk what they have if you ask them to take risks for things that don’t matter.  Be strategic. Defend the important hills, but choose wisely.

 

 

 

Celebrate Success (Even When It’s Someone Else’s)

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It’s pretty easy to celebrate your own accomplishments.  I mean, you know your journey.  You know what you have been through to carry out the goal.  However, it can be harder to celebrate the success of others.  It got me thinking.

  • Do we not celebrate the success of others because of the competitive world we live in?  Maybe we don’t celebrate because we are fearful that someone else’s success diminishes our own.  Maybe it makes us feel a little safer with our own status.
  • Do we not notice? Let’s face it, it’s a fast pace world we live in. Maybe we get so busy, we just don’t see anything going on with anyone else because we have hyper-focused on our own circumstances.
  • Do we doubt the impact our “congratulations” mean to someone else?  Maybe we think that the other person will question our sincerity or even value our acknowledgement of what they have accomplished.

Recently I had a colleague of a campus that had been through a tremendous challenge to help her campus meet some specified accountability standards.  While I had not directly experienced the steps and measures they had gone through to achieve the goal.  I knew it was certainly arduous.  Her team rallied. They invested.  They learned. They reflected and they grew.  Most importantly, they never gave up.  It was huge accomplishment when they achieved this task they had worked on for years.

As I watched them celebrate, it hit me how important it was that not only they celebrate for themselves, or be acknowledged by superiors, but that they be acknowledged by peers and colleagues.  I didn’t know whether my words would really matter to them, but it just seemed important.  When we live in a world where education is constantly under fire, we must stand together in good times and in bad. It just seems like it’s easier to acknowledge and feel pity for someone’s struggles. We must not compete against each other, but celebrate each educational organization as a part of the great big “whole” of public educators who make a difference for children.  That is why my teacher leaders did a twitter storm of celebration for this campus marrying their hashtag and ours to celebrate their success.

…we must stand together in good times and bad. It just appears it is easier to acknowledge and feel pity for the struggles.
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I don’t think it matters if you are a district, a school, or a teacher of a classroom.  As Susan Phillips says “Celebrate the success of others.  High tide floats all ships.” When you are in a battle, you unite your armies, not battle over who is the frontline or the support. Both are critical to winning longterm.  We must recognize that every success of any campus is asuccess for all public educators.  It’s a check in the win column to tell the world what a difference a group of educators can make in the lives of children when they have a common vision and purpose. Congratulations, Central Elementary! You have accomplished great things.  You have shown grit, growth mindset, and grace under fire!  You did it and you make us all look good because of that!

 

 

A Time to Rest

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This year I will enter my 26th year as an educator.  It is hard to believe.  I remember as a new educator looking at teachers with 20+ years of experience and being in awe of their talent and stamina.

I love teaching.  I love school.  While I love summer, I can never seem to wait to get back and always have found myself creeping back into the building long before my contract began.  Whether it was to teach summer school, set up my classroom, or plan for the upcoming year, I couldn’t seem to stay away. Screen Shot 2017-08-09 at 9.35.31 AM

This past summer was a little different.  My feelings and passion hadn’t changed, but I was just so tired.  Every time I thought about going to school or planning, I just felt a deep exhaustion that seemed to be back behind my eye sockets.  I couldn’t focus and get started.  It led to some deep guilt.  Who was I letting down?

Ultimately, I had to come to the realization that twenty-five years of non-stop “going” had finally caught up with me.  I had to give myself permission that taking care of myself WAS taking care of my people.  My body and my mind needed rest for me to continue to be able to give my best to my students, staff, and community. I’m now almost two weeks back in, and I am realizing the world did not come crashing down.  We are off to a great start and everything will get done.

Of course, it helps that this is my fifth year in the principalship and fifth year at this campus.  I was fortunate that no emergencies that needed to be taken care of while I was do a good joboff-contract. I feel certain that if something urgent had come up, my adrenaline would have kicked back in. What I also realized once my exhaustion started to wane was that maybe, if I did a little more self-care during the year, I might not reach that level physical and mental fatigue.

I think sometimes as educators, our passion creates an adrenaline that allows us to keep going at superhuman rates.  Our sense of urgency drives us through the “tired” when most would say “enough”.   However, I think we have to find that place where we recognize that rest is critical.   Pushing ourselves to this point is not healthy and can certainly lead to bigger issues. Filling our own cups and allowing time for rejuvenation is necessary if we intend to fully pour ourselves into others. Sometimes grit and growth mindset is about finding balance and giving ourselves the grace we so easily give to others. There is a time for work.  There is a time for a sense of urgency.  But, there is also a time to rest.

I wish all the educators out there the best school year possible as we ready for the return of our students. Just remember: There is a time for work.  There is a time for a sense of urgency.  But, there is also a time to rest.

Symptoms and Bigger Issues Related to Physical and Metal Exhaustion

This I Believe

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When I was growing up, I wanted to be a leader for the wrong reasons. I wanted to be a leader because I thought that was the person in charge. Then, with maturity and many failed leadership experiences, I began to see the heavy burden that comes with the leadership role. Leadership even became something I avoided for a while. This is because I came to believe leadership is not about power, but all about service. Service to people, service to the community, service to a greater cause.

This I believe…

Leadership is about knowing the people you aspire to lead and being willing to make the sacrifices necessary for their success. It is about filling their cups, taking their burden, celebrating them whenever possible, and having a deep enough relationship with them that you can tell them things they need to hear to improve without damaging the connection.

Leadership is about recognizing that bad leadership will motivate people to be different, while good leadership will motivate people to be more. Leaders must show grace even when none is given in return. Walking the walk, inspiring hope, constant reflection and always considering the “what ifs” for improving the human condition for those they serve are the traits of a good leader.

Bad leaders will motivate people to be different, while good leaders will motivate people to be more.
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Leadership is about having a continually developing a vision of where your organization needs to go to make the world a better place, and having the skills to continually learn and grow to adjust and correct the course to get there. It really is never about the destination. Rather, it is always about the journey and the experiences that shape us along the way.

Leadership is about modeling risk-taking. Sometimes risk-taking results in failures. But part of that modeling is getting back up, learning from mistakes, and starting again with a new perspective. Even more important is recognizing that sometimes you have big wins when big risks pay off. But even then, you don’t stop. You celebrate the moment and then form your next plan…you keep learning….you keep growing…you keep getting better rather than settling for good enough.

Leadership is about developing the capacity of others. True leaders recognize that the most important missions are too big for any one person. Therefore they teach and model and release responsibility so that a legacy exists long beyond the leader’s time. Leaders recognize when the required path is uncomfortable or hard but build on the strengths of those they lead to accomplishing the task despite the challenges. Leaders grow leaders, so the vision expands and has a greater impact of good.

Leaders grow leaders, so the vision expands and has a greater impact of good.
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Leadership is about being humble and giving all the credit to those you serve when things go right, but a true leader is willing to be accountable when things go wrong. This type of leader continually reflects on what they may have done to set others up for success so it can be repeated, but also considers the deficits in their actions that caused the failure and is willing to adjust their actions so that it doesn’t happen again.

Leadership can be exhausting. It can be thankless and focal point of blame when things don’t go right. Sometimes it would simply be easier to say, “This is how it’s going to be done because I said so.” Sometimes you want to close your door, or say “Not now.” You want to say, “What about me?” Sometimes, it can even be, “I give up.” Then I remember this is not leadership and start again.

This I believe, when done right, leadership cultivates others who are willing to serve and inspire others and this is how you make the world better.

When done right, leadership cultivates those who will also serve and inspire others…this is how you make the world better.
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Thank you to N2 Learning for this experience that helped define who I am as a leader, my partner in the experience Donna, my district administrators for this amazing opportunity, my constant support and mentor Sherry, for my incredible Degan Community who make me want to be better every day.

This I Believe 

Mercy and Grace

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With Easter upon us, it has gotten me doing a great deal of reflection on God’s mercy versus God’s grace.  God’s mercy is the fact that while we deserve punishment for our sins, they are wiped clean.  Because of His mercy, we do not have to face eternal damnation.  So what about His grace?  Grace is that God gives us kindness we do not deserve. We did not deserve His son to die on the cross for our sins, but he gave his son for us anyway.

We, too, have the ability to give both grace and mercy to our fellow man.  I have seen that in the last couple of weeks at my school. I have been unnerved lately at some of the adult behavior that I have witnessed. I seem to have encountered more and more parents yelling, screaming and cursing in the presence of children or belittling staff who are just doing their jobs. I think it has to do with the social climate of our country and intense stress so many people are under. Unfortunately, I have had to confront several parents about their behavior and expectations of how we must treat each other to maintain a collaborative relationship and do what is best for children.  For a couple of these situations, it involved several follow-up conversations where those parents were able to explain some things going on in their

Unfortunately, I have had to confront several parents about their behavior and reiterate expectations of how we must treat each other to maintain a collaborative relationship and do what is best for children.  For a couple of these situations, it involved several follow-up conversations where those parents were able to explain some things going on in their lives.  These were not examples of “mercy” because the bad behavior was not tolerated. However, grace was extended through the absence of personal judgment and the willingness to continue to try to maintain the relationship. Those same adults took full responsibility and gave sincere unprompted apologies to those they had wronged.  I believe they did this because they were given grace.

I see this with students, too.  I have a couple of students who ended up at the alternative school for some persistent bad behavior.  They had to be held accountable at this level because other measures were not working and their behavior was becoming disruptive to others’ learning.  I went to visit them one day and both gave me gigantic hugs and stated they were surprised to see me.  I explained to them that while they were gone, they were still my students and I needed to check on them. They had to be accountable for their behavior, but it didn’t change my love for them or my concern for their well-being.

I have found that if students make a mistake and are given “mercy”, they are usually right back in the same place after a short period of time.  However, if they are held accountable for their actions while also shown kindness, behavior had the potential to change.  All humans need to know that someone believes in their ability to be better.  Underserved kindness, or grace, says to that person, “I believe in you, no matter what your past has been.”

Underserved kindness, or grace, says to that person, “I believe in you, no matter what your past has been.”
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To extend “mercy”, you must first be in some sort of a position of power to enact punishment.  However, sometimes “mercy” backfires by allowing bad behavior to continue because it is seen as acceptance of the behavior. Sometimes, we aren’t even in a place to show mercy because we don’t hold the power to give the consequence.   “Grace” doesn’t require power, but more the willingness to show kindness where none is deserved. It requires the person giving grace to put someone else’s humanity before their own desire to “make someone pay” for their wrongdoing.  Grace has the power to change behavior for the better because there is hope for something more. Sometimes “grace” and the hope it can inspire is much more important.